Freezing Fire
by Deaths Lie
Summary: I love him. I really freaking love him. Why doesn't he even see I love him? I'm his best friend but can't Misaki see me as something more intimate. Like his boyfriend?
1. Melting Ice

**(Authors Note 1: _'_**_Italics'_ are Saru's thoughts.)

We sat in front of the convenience store. Me bored as hell. There he was playing my damn gameboy because he forgot his own. I couldn't even get mad at at him for how damn cute he looked, dying to the same freakin boss over and over again. I guess I wasn't really too mad since his body was pressed into mine, trying to make his 2D character move with his own body. Because somehow pressing against me will help him win.

I've had enough of this moron losing to such an easy enemy. I take control from around his waist not caring that my chin was touching his smooth hair. I moved the clumsy hands aways from the controls for my own fingers. "There." I said as I finished the boss on my first try. "Your elbow was beginning to hurt me."

He, of course, was pissed at my win. "Dammit! I was about to win!" He started flailing about, not realizing he was soon in my lap. His breath warm in my face. Body touching me in so many places, making my heart pound. "Are you even fucking listening! Why the hell do I still talk to you! ASSHOLE!"

_'Why doesn't he realize he is turned around facing me on my lap?'_ I was trying to calm my racing heart. I knew my face wasn't revealing how I truly felt. I felt weird having butterflies attack my body as someone pounded their fist into my chest. "Misaki." He still was continuing his rant on me, not listening to hear me. "Misaki!" His words had stopped for the moment I had spoken, yet he was too preoccupied in hitting me to hear my words.

"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" He stopped hitting me and scolding me. Just sat there panting._ 'Dammit! Why does he have to be so cute!'_ I stopped slouching to sit up straight, staring down into his eyes. I gave a small laugh before I ruffled his hair. I wasn't caring about how everyone on the street seemed to stare at us slightly before hurrying off.

"Misaki. You're the one who looks stupid, curled up on another mans lap." I let my hand slip to cup his chubby cheek. I really did love when he starts blushing like now. "The game isn't saved yet so you could just go back and beat him." _'Why hasn't he moved! Doesn't he realize the position he has me in?'_

I was about to saw something when suddenly his lips were on mine. It lasted a mere second but I didn't care. I had wished for it to happen so long it was perfect. "You're blushing." He said before standing and offering me a hand up. I didn't take it, but I got up anyways. Gathering our snacks.

"Shut up. That was my first kiss jerk!" _'I can't let him know how much I actually liked it. Craved for it. Was it really nothing to him?'_ He was hoping down the street as if nothing happened. While I walked next to him carrying his shit. "Why did you do that?" I was trying not to stumble on my words now. I felt my cool cover had been completely blown off, leaving me nude to the public eye.

"To see what would happen. That stick up your ass must have a way of dislodging itself. Plus I have never managed to surprise you." He turned to my grabbing his soda out of my hand. "Which I can happily say I did."

_'Damn bastard! It really didn't mean shit to him. He is the worst liar ever.'_ "How can that not be your first kiss. Your not cute enough to get any girls. Bit extreme for a prank too." I knew I was just blowing some steam by saying the opposite of the truth. I knew his adorable face could get him anyone. I knew the girls were still short enough his height didn't matter.

"Shut up! I have kissed girls! Unlike you, I get girlfriends!" He threw his empty pop bottle into an alley wall. "My first kiss went to a real cutie with black hair and and blue eyes! Yeah and she was really cool and knew all about games! You know her! I mean I have totally told you all about her!" He was pointing his finger in my face. I knew he was lying now. But the girls discription did sound real. I also knew he didn't have a girlfriend not too long ago.

"Sure. And does she wear glasses, stand a bit over 15 centimeters taller than you; with a first name starting with S?" I was annoyed since his girlfriend from last year actually looked exactly like that. If I hadn't been looking at Misaki first, or liked girls, I might have even said she was cute.

"Well almost, but Seiko was a tad bit smaller than me. That's what made her so cute!" Misaki calmed down instantly smiling and fluttering about. Making me feel ill and like I needed to up chuck my lunch. "Too bad she broke up with me." _'Probably realized you had the temper of a goose or something.'_ "She said I was gay." _'Wait wow. Does that make you up for grabs?'_ "Every girl I date says I am, then breaks up with me." He had a huge frown on his face like he was about to cry. Staring up at me with such perfect eyes.

"Heh must be tough. I mean I never really have dated anyone so you know. I'm sorry that sucks." _'Shit! I can't just say 'well if you are, date me! or could I?'_ "Why would they say that? You never came off that way to me." I couldn't help myself as I wrapped my arms around him "At least their always nice to you, right?" I couldn't even stop my blabbering. Offering unwanted comfort to my best friend. My best friend who just stood there quietly.

"I don't care. I mean it's not like I'm not, so it makes sense." _'Wait what! That was a double negative so it's positive, right?'_ "I'm sorry. When they ask if it's you I like, I never answer untruthfully. It feels good to say it sometimes. That's why. That's why I kissed you earlier." I didn't let go of him when he confessed. I honestly didn't know if I could stand without my hold on him. Me legs felt so wobbly. "You can hate me now."

With that I couldn't hold my cool. I dipped my head in to kiss him again. For the second time today my lips were pressed to his. Just this time it wasn't a quick peck. His arms were around my neck, touching my long hair. Our mouths only separating millimeters for air before reconnecting. He had gotten over the shock in a moment. I was showing so much emotion in this little action. I wanted to open my eyes just to see the look on his face. I had to, and in that little peek I saw his eyes shut and hair dazzling. I finally parted, placing my forehead on his. Unable to stop my smile. "I could never hate the person I have loved for so many years."

Misaki's face crumbled and tears stream down his cheeks. They weren't sad tears, but happy tears. "Why didn't you say anything?" He asked in a tear choked voice. His small body so close to mine. I didn't stop myself from kissing away his tears.

"How could I say that to someone who was always dating a girl. Why did you date them if you didn't like them? Or was this some kind of sick joke!" I didn't mean to get angry, I was just scared. Scared it really didn't mean jake to him. I always wanted to take the spot of all those girls that were by his side._ 'Please show me how to love you!'_ I looked back into his eyes to see pain. The person I cared for more than anything else was sad, because of me.

"I wouldn't make-out with someone as a joke. I wouldn't do that to you. I couldn't." He looked at me so honestly. So cutely. My guilt was rising as I looked at him. I kissed him on the head, hugging him closer. "Go on a date with me?" Even though I would end up paying my heart pounded. Every noise silenced as his words echoed in my ears.

"Now?" I was enable to form a sentence. That one word taking so much energy. I felt my vision beginning to spin. _'Please don't notice how nervous I am.'_ I felt so ridiculous to have such a reaction to someone merely asking me out after we kissed. The issue was that it wasn't just someone, it was Misaki Yata.

I had my eye on him since we met, never leaving since. I would do stupid things just to be near him. Not caring if I got hurt or didn't want to. I even joined football when he did, despite the ball seeming to be unseptretable with my face. But I guess I stayed because he would hold me, yelling at the kid who had kicked it this time, then me soon blacking out in his arms again.

"Yes now!" Misaki yelled at me like I was some kind of love struck moron. Which I was. "I mean it can be later just normally people go on a date before they kiss someone. We could go get ice cream, or something." I could tell he was unsure with me. Me, his best friend. In a way someone could say we had been on a date all day. We were always together. "And I actually have my wallet I was just mad earlier and wanted you to buy my soda." I was still holding him at the hips, but I didn't want to let go. His warmth was all mine now.

I found my voice through his nervousness. "I don't really mind buying you soda. I mean you made me happy today. I would honestly love to get ice cream with you." _'Please don't leave me.'_ "I can relate to wanting to date before a kiss. But a date is just spending time with the other person, getting to know them and stuff. Right? So we are always on dates." Misaki gave a slight chuckle before kissing my nose and staring at me with loving eyes.

I decided then._ 'No matter how many stupid mistakes I make, don't stop looking at me like that. I will break if you do. Kill and hurt more people than just myself. As long as you're beside me, looking at me. You can do anything you want but leave.' _

**Authors Note 2:** Yay! This is what happens when I watch a lot of Shonen Ai and Shojo stuff :D Should I continue or just stay with Shonen? Oh and this is most likely not a one shot but a however long the fluff ball rolls thing. Thank you for reading lovely Saruhiko/Misaki shippers.


	2. Flaming Snow

I sat in a booth at an ice cream parlor, with Misaki across from me. There were a few other couples, mainly all high schoolers but there was a few older couples. After the noisy family left a few minutes ago, we became the youngest in this small family owned joint.

Our young waiter came, she was most likely 2nd year in high school. She had big green eyes, long eyelashes, and a perfect little mouth. Her pale complexion complemented by her dark auburn hair that hung down her back in loose ringlets. She even wore a cute pink bow on her head. "Here ya go! One large cherry delight sundae for both of you! If you need anything else don't be scared to ask. She flashed a dazzling smile after she said her overly excited lines.

Misaki didn't even look up at her. His eyes were glued on me. "Yeah sure, thanks." He said, not freaking out to be talking to a girl. For once I was the one he couldn't stop looking at, not the silly waitress most guys would say was incredibly cute.

We weren't talking about anything besides the usual. But the atmosphere was definitely different. We weren't afraid to let our eyes linger over the other. Roaming over the others body. Well at least I wasn't. The air that hovered over us wasn't restrained or stiff like it normally was. I was in heaven.

We were currently indulging in the sundae that had just been brought out to us. We each had out own spoon to scrape away the side closest to us. My side was far less carved in as Misaki's.

"Um hey Saru, can I have the piece of chocolate?" Misaki randomly said. It was a completely different subject than the new fighting games that had come out recently.

I looked at him dumbfounded a moment before brushing the chocolate in his direction with the tip of my spoon. "Sure. Take as much as you want." When I spoke I found that my voice was much quieter than usual. I hadn't realized I would be so shy with stuff like this.

It wasn't unusual for Misaki to do the talking, just normally he didn't do all of the talking. He had this dreadful habit of talking with his mouth full. Strangely he kept his mouth closed as he savored the chocolate. His eyes were even closed as well.

"Is it really that good?" I asked, braking the serene silence that had fallen over us. I was more than done with the ice cream. I stabbed my spoon into the soft frozen desert.

Misaki opened his gorgeous honey colored eyes. Looking directly at my plain blue ones. "Yeah, want a taste?

I was confused when he said this. I was about to say how there had only been one piece when suddenly he grabbed my shirt, pulling me into a kiss. My eyes shut as soon as our lips met. I revelled in the feeling, leaning in more.

I would have thought a kiss while eating would be totally gross, even if it was with Misaki. When he took my tongue in his mouth I realized he had swallowed the food. Even so, I could still taste the sweet chocolat on his lips and tongue. The chocolate was definitely good but it wasn't as good as Misaki's own sweet taste.

He pulled off a grin dancing across his face as he sat back down. I sat back in my own seat. I was definitely blushing, but so was he. I averted my eyes to the side embarrassed. I jumped back slightly when I saw our waitress smiling down at us.

I couldn't possibly imagine what she could want. We had already paid. "Hello, this is a family restaurant, so please keep your kissing under two seconds." She kept her smile on as she said this. My warm cheeks were by now hot as fire. I felt really embarrassed that someone had been watching us.

"Eh! Since when did that rule start existing!" Misaki said harshly to the smiling waitress. I was startled by the sharpness in Misaki's tone. I knew he was a bit harsher than my passive aggressive self, but it was still a bit scary.

The waitress's smile instantly dropped, and she looked at us with only sternness. "Since making-out in a restaurant didn't seem indecent to you two. You're in what, grade school? You're too young to even know what love or heartbreak even is yet." She said, for the first time seeming sad.

I thought about her words, thinking of how wrong she actually was. "The world will not always appear dark in your eyes. Whoever it was that taught you heartbreak I am sorry. They shouldn't have let such a kind person go." I soon found my self comforting her, a girl I didn't even know.

"Oh well, actually I broke up with her. I found her making-out with my male best-friend. And now I am just telling a damn stranger my love life. Ugh, I am sorry." I gave her one of my weak, yet real smiles.

"I'd probably beat the shit out of Saru if I found him kissing someone else. Especially if I had any close girl friends, and it was her. But I wouldn't break up with him." I felt flutters at Misaki's rather sudden response. How he was talking comfortably with her I do not know. But she needs an award for the most welcoming aura ever, because even I talked to her.

"Yeah. I was just upset. I should probably beg for her back when I get off in a bit. Well actually I will just ask for a reason why. Thanks guys, I actually feel so much better after talking to you two. Good luck, but seriously keep the public display of affection to under thirty seconds of lip locking." She wandered off to a new group that had just walked in, not before leaving two mints for us on the table.

I ate one of the cherries, taking the stem into my mouth. Ever since I was little I have been playing with the stems of them. I barely paid attention to the fruit at the end of it. I easily tied it in a knot in under ten seconds, then placed it on a napkin in front of me.

"Wow Saruhiko you can do that? I guess it makes sense, you were really good at it!" Misaki exclaimed, upon seeing my tied cherry stem I think. I wasn't too sure what he was talking about until I remembered the rumor that if someone could tie a cherry stem in a knot with their tongue, it meant they were a good kisser.

"Er, Misaki, I really don't believe in that rumor. I used my teeth a little on that, so it wouldn't make for the best kiss. Unless you wanted to bleed." I said, looking at Misaki with my brows slightly furrowed in confusion.

"Oh, well I want to see if I can do it." Misaki declared as he popped cherry into his mouth. He purposely chose one with a long stem. I watched as his face contorted into funny things, until a few minutes later he happily pulled out a knotted cherry stem, laying it next to mine. I stared at it a bit in horror.

He had managed to skin the stem entirely, rip and permanently bend it. Looking at his tied what used to be a cherry stem I realized how the rumor started. Mine still resembled a stem, while his was reminding me of hair. glued together with glue sticks, then tied into a know by a five-year old. I was really happy he was a good kisser, and didn't skin my tongue like he had that poor cherry stem.

"Not too shabby eh?" Misaki still seemed so proud of himself. He must have caught my horrified look based on when his smile turned down. "Um, Saru, are you okay?" He asked with a worried tone in his voice. "Did I do something wrong?" I shook myself out of my daze, looking back up into his questioning eyes.

"No I'm just lost in your uh magnificence." I lied, but hey no need to bash his pride. Hi smile returned at my statement, he obviously was missing the sarcasm I used. He began to dig into the ice cream again. I had my fill so I just happily watched him finish off the bowl. I took a few more cherries, but for the most part I left the food alone.

"Num argh es guhd!" He mumbled, his cheeks packed like hamsters. Despite his jumbled words I knew Misaki had said, 'man this is good!' I could always understand Misaki when he displayed that disgusting habit. He has been doing it since we met.

"I'm glad you like it." I look at the time to see it's nearly six o'clock. My dad wanted me back tonight before sunset, and the sun was setting now. "Hey, Misaki, it's getting pretty late. My dad wanted me before it got dark." I say just loud enough so Misaki can barely hear me.

'Oh shit! My mom wanted me back then too!" He looked out the window, and shoved the rest of the sundae into his mouth. We scramble out of the booth, quickly heading out of there.

We live pretty close together, so we walk most of the way to our homes together most days. Today however we were running towards our respective homes before we got in trouble. "Bye Saru, meet you tomorrow." Misaki said, giving me a goodbye hug when we reached his street. I returned the hug nodding my understanding. When we let go of each other we went back to running to our homes, not wanting to piss off our parents. We ran down our separate paths, trying to reach our destination before time ran out.

* * *

**Authors Note:** Sorry I missed the time! I am really happy people like it. I should probably say this though, I think Saruhiko was a nice, sort of shy middle schooler. I think he turned psycho later in life.

Thank you anyone who read, fallowed, favorite, or/and reviewed, it makes me want to write. I got sort of sick when it was time to type everything up so I will try to make sure I only have to hit a button next time. Oh um so should I have each update with Misaki, or can I just continue in like how Saruhiko sees' life.


	3. Frozen Sun

I walked into the house to find my father smoking a cigarette on the balcony. I knew he'd be done by the time I put my bags in my room and was heading into the kitchen to make the lazy man dinner. I would never receive a thank you for running the house, maybe a punishment if I didn't get everything done though.

Sure enough as I began to set things on the stove to heat up he slammed the sliding glass door shut, and came into the kitchen. I didn't really care if he yelled at me for being late, I had already cooked everything this morning.

"It will be ready in five." I informed him before he came over to clutter my space. I didn't like the man, and I sure as hell didn't want him in my kitchen.

"Whatever. You're late. Where have you been." He says. As if he actually cares where I might spend my time away when I'm not cooped up in the house.

"I was just hanging out with Misaki." I say, stirring the soup. I didn't feel like elaborating on how it was actually a date with the most perfect person ever and I was actually happy on it.

"I see. Is she your girlfriend? You seem happy today." He stood at the door way, glaring at how I cooked my food and moved at a normal pace. He is obviously not in a good mood today, but I'm not in the mood for his shit tonight.

"No." I say blankly and begin serving the food. I don't bother to say that Misaki is a guy, and was my best friend; until he also became my, I believe boyfriend. I couldn't resist a slight upturn on my face thinking about our date, but immediately let it go back into a solemn frown.

"Do get an attitude with me!" He said. Taking my monotoned answer as sass; 'cause obviously I care enough to insult his precious pride.

"He's my friend, and I'm not trying to give you an attitude." I say not too affected by my father's temper. I wouldn't let him get to me. Not tonight, and not about Misaki.

"I see." He grabbed his food and began to stuff his face full of it not really committing on whether it was good or not until he set the empty bowl down. "Do you like him like that then?" He moved into the living room, collapsing on the couch, while I followed behind knowing I'd be in trouble if I didn't.

"Like a friend? Of course." I answer, even if I really love him like he was my soul mate who was of course my best friend. It hurt that I knew couldn't even say that, but it was all right as long as he returned my feelings. Even if it was all kept a secret.

"Stop acting like a smartass!" He yelled at my rather snarky response. He slapped me across the cheek. "I'm trying to have a normal God damn conversation with you, and your being a cunt."

"I'm sorry." Was all I said in response. He flipped on the T.V then looked me up and down. I was irritated, but I kept thinking about earlier today and knew it would be all right.

"Shut the fuck up you worthless piece of shit! I hate your voice! I hate your face! I hate every fucking word you let out!" He was soon standing over me. I, still being in middle school, was tiny in comparison. I was of normal height, but my scrawniness made him seem a lot bigger.

He puffed his chest out, and even if the dark room I could tell his face was red in rage. I didn't say anything, too used to him to care if he hated me or not. My silence seemed to only piss him off more, because soon he slapped my face so hard my head turned in the direction I was slapped and I nearly lost balance if I wasn't used to it by now.

"You worthless piece of shit!" He slapped my cheek, and this time I tried to evade him by stepping backwards. "It's your fault she left!" My other cheek was struck and I found myself cornered against a wall. It wasn't unusual for him to blame me for my mother getting a divorce; because it was obviously my fault he was a control freak, and would make issues out of the smallest of things.

I didn't say sorry, nor did I really care my face was starting to hurt. It didn't matter if I spoke or not; it would have only made him more pleased if I begged for mercy like I did when I was little. He punched me in the side of my head. It was followed by an attempt to kick my stomach. I jumped back from the kick by instinct not to get hurt if I don't have to.

"You're so pathetic!" He pulled my hair, and began pulling me to the floor by my hair. "You'll never have any worth." I could feel the hair ripping from my scalp, and the warmth the pain had searing on it.

I was tuning out by the time the phone started ringing. In the moment of surprise he loosened his hold and I stood up. It was Misaki. He was about to yell at me to find out who was calling, and then probably attack them. I had too good of a day to let that happen.

I gave a swift kick to his groin, becoming free of his grasp. Then I did a roundhouse kick into his head, knocking him into the wall and he was out cold. I raced to the phone and into my room, locking the door.

"Hey Misaki." I answered the phone on the last ring. It was him. I could tell just by his breathing. I was so happy he wanted to talk tonight, because in truth I was so scared. Anything could happen now that I protected myself against my dad.

"Hello dear, how are you doing? I kind of just wanted to talk tonight to well yeah. We're dating now right?" He said the last question in a quiet tone, obviously not wanting his mother to know. "I know it's not really a good time now to ask, but I mean well you're dumb and might think we're still friends . . . Or something."

"I can be anything you want me to be, but personally boyfriend sounds best." I was smiling because the only person I love wanted to date me as well. "Oh, and I think I got food poisoning. I might not come to school tomorrow."

"Ehh! I hope it's not actually the flu." Misaki had a short pause before continuing in a quiet voice again. "Not only would that suck for you, but we kissed a lot today!"

I felt like laughing he'd think about how easily an illness would spread through kissing, but not that stealing a sick persons popsicle was dangerous at all. "Mmn no I don't think you'll catch it. I'm not even sure I won't be better by tomorrow morning."

"Oh, well I hope not. I need to cheat off your math test tomorrow." Misaki laughed his God damn beautiful laugh and sighed. "That, and I want to kiss you again. For being a newbie you're incredible. Ignoring the part that I think you forgot to breathe a few times.

'_Did my heart just stop? He just complimented my kissing! He is so perfect. Wait we have a math test tomorrow? . . . Oh well.' _I thought in the years it took me to answer, well more like seconds actually.

"Thanks, you weren't so bad yourself. Now about this math test, what's it on?" I answer coolly since I'm obviously the boss.

"Uhh math, duh. No I think it's on order of operations or something. It's what our homework is." Misaki snorted, as if saying he was too good to do his homework and check. AKA he was too lazy to walk across his room to where his backpack was thrown onto the floor.

"Lazy buns." I was about to start a new topic when I heard Misaki's mom calling for him to come down to dinner over the phone. "You have to go?"

"Yeah. Mom made something so I gotta run. Might join you in the food poisoning tonight. Bye. I probably wont be able to call later tonight. Hope your up to school tomorrow." Before I could even answer there was a click and the line went dead.

"Welp that lasted long." I said quietly to myself before crawling under my bed covers with my uniform still on.

If this had been a day when I was younger I might have cried, but today wasn't that bad of a day. My heart was still glowing enough for me to fall asleep quickly, and with a smile none the less.

**Author's Note:** Uhh yeah… I forgot about this so sorry . On the bright side I'm done with the back story.

Now I'm sort of bad at deciding cute dates and such, but that is what is supposed to happen in like every chapter. So readers can request a certain eventful lovey-dovey prompt and I'll fill it here. Simply run with the background given, say in detail the wanted date thing, and I'll fill it in Saruhiko first-person. I can't write M stuff right now, and I don't want to feel like a pedo. Remember they are 13 in this and I'm against children whoring around.


End file.
